It’s been quite a while since I’ve been able to update the blog and I thought it was important that I explain why.
This is me and my doggie Mandy. For those of you who follow me on facebook, you may remember that I mentioned several weeks ago that Mandy is very sick. The past month and a half has been full of ups and downs with her. She has stopped eating, started eating again, and stopped eating again many times. I can’t keep up with what she wants to eat or when. Throughout the day I am constantly trying to get her to eat, and if she doesn’t, I resort to force feeding her. She is still happy and in good spirits, but noticeably more frail and weak. Nearly two years ago she was diagnosed with cancer and was given a very bleak outlook. She wasn’t supposed to make it to the following week. 21 months later, she is still hanging in there, but the end is obviously near now. I love this girl more than I can describe. I picked her out from the shelter when I was nine years old and she was 8 weeks old. She’s 14.5 now and I’m 23. To say that I can’t imagine life without her is an understatement. She has been my shadow for over 14 years.
I have dropped almost everything, it feels like, to make sure that I take good care of her. Marcos and I have been eating a lot of quickly thrown together meals. I’ve nearly quit baking. And the time that I do have available to work, I find it hard to focus because I know that in 30 minutes or so I will need to get back up to feed her or take her out. It is totally worth it, but also completely exhausting. The other night, I got up with her three times because she had to go to the bathroom. She is having to use the bathroom a lot because she is on a medication called Lasix that makes her urinate a lot. She was put on this about a month ago when I noticed that her belly and back legs were swelling up. It turns out that the swelling was actually fluid building up and this was being caused by the cancer. The vet told me that she is essentially in Hospice now and it is only a matter of time. Pretty much the crappiest news I could have gotten.
It’s very sad and draining watching your best friend die. I am just thankful for the time that I’ve had with her and the time that I have left. Mandy loves it when we get to go out in the boat. The picture above is of us just a few weeks ago when we took her out and I just sat in the water with her and let her relax. The water, I believe, helped her feel so much better. She always perks up after a boat ride or a dip in the salt water.
When I first neglected the blog last month I felt that Mandy was almost gone and I completely dropped everything to take care of her. But she has held on longer than I expected. I know she doesn’t have long left, but I have no way of knowing when the end will be and although I still plan on spoiling her to death, I’ve also realized that I need to get back to doing the things that I love to do also, for myself. I can’t wait to get back in the kitchen and create some more recipes to share with you all. I’ve got to find ways to fill my life with happiness right now, and cooking and baking will definitely make me happy.
Thank you guys for your continued support and stay tuned for a new post here very soon!